Q & A: Engagement and Pre-wedding Plans

Etiquette authority Peggy answers the most frequently asked questions on weddings, engagements, and showers.

Engagement and Pre-wedding Plans

What happens if an engagement is broken?

The bride immediately returns the engagement ring and other gifts of value her fiancé has given her. Her fiancé also returns any gifts of value given to him. Gifts from friends and relatives should be returned to them, along with a brief note explaining that the engagement has been broken.

What are the guidelines for the number of ushers and bridesmaids to have in a wedding?

Although it depends on the formality and size of the wedding, a practical rule of thumb is to have one usher for every 50 guests. There may be more ushers than bridesmaids, but not the other way around.

Who hosts the rehearsal dinner and who attends it? Should out-of-town guests who arrive the day before the wedding be invited?

Typically, the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner, but it's not obligatory and anyone may host it. Guests usually include the families of the bride and groom, the attendants, and the spouses, fiancé(e)s, and live-in companions of the attendants. It's a thoughtful gesture, but not a must, to invite out-of-town guests.