Monday, October 20, 2008

Q & A: Is it acceptable to request that money be given in place of gifts for a wedding?

Q. Is it acceptable to request that money be given in place of gifts for a wedding?

A. Only if you state "in lieu of gifts please donate to ______________ charity" - otherwise - NO, NEVER, DON'T EVEN THINK OF IT, etc., etc. If you happen to be part of one of the ethnic groups that give cash at weddings that's great - but - even then YOU DON'T ASK - is it given as part of the tradition and NO ONE asks. If you need the cash and not the gifts - take the gifts back and "trade them" for things you really honestly need or register for only things you really don't want to have to pay for - are you doing a honeymoon? - register it, as many travel agencies will have "honeymoon registries" available... need clothes? - register at department stores where you can take back items you don't want and exchange for clothes... There are NOT a lot of ways around this - because asking for money is just bad taste - and - it makes people think "if they really need money how can they afford to get married" which is NOT something you want friends and family to consider.

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