Q. My son is getting married in September and there is an issue about the church and the etiquette of whose church the ceremony is in. We are Armenian Orthodox and my son's fiance is Lutheran. My son wanted to have his priest perform part of the Armenian service at his fiance's church, but the Lutherans do not allow it. What now?
A. This is a problem often seen with Jewish/Christian marriages - the answer is - they choose or they have two ceremonies. Either way, mom, remember the operative word here is "THEY" and, though it may be tough, this is something that MUST be worked through by the couple without parental influences and pressures (as we tend to do). Having a strong ethnic heritage myself, I understand the desire to bring the families' way of life into the next generation - but - this is the time they need to give some serious thought to the future - if the ceremony and how it will be handled becomes "an issue" that can't be easily resolved by the couple - then - what about the lifestyles, what about how the kids will be raised - how about a dozen other things that you and I know about because we've been there and done that - but... this is why I have to say (in a very nice and caring way) you have to make sure you "butt out" of this one - it is a very important issue that may help the couple grow a little (if not a lot) and an issue that they shouldn't have to have a family "guilt trip" over. Best of Luck